Tuesday, March 16, 2010
Comfort Food
Comfort food. That is what this last week has been about for people and pugs alike.
Monday, March 15, 2010
Trying
Well this last week sure was different. First, let me start off by thanking everyone for their thoughts & prayers for Solsey. I was overwhelmed by the support and kind words for her. It just goes to show how Solsey had a way of really drawing everyone in.
Last week was tough. Being a senior, Solsey's passing was something that crossed my mind more often than I would like to admit (especially since Christmas). I thought I was preparing myself, but I really don't think you can be prepared at all. I guess, what I was doing was tuning in more to her to make sure she didn't suffer. I wanted her to soak up every drop of life, but as soon as the suffering outweighed the good, I wanted to do right by her. But, in then end, you didn't need to be closely tuned in to see that breathing just became too difficult for her. And while I am prone to over analyzing and being a bit too hard on myself, I think we came pretty darn close to helping her squeeze every last drop out of life with minimal suffering.
One thing I have learned over the past week is that nothing can prepare you for the loss of such a presence in the house. I miss her in so many ways I never imagined. I didn't think the house would be as quiet as it is. I mean after all we have three other pugs running around, but it is eerily quiet around here.
Benjamin, Henry, Luna & Cupid have taken Solsey's passing way harder than I anticipated. Not once have the pugs woken us up in the wee hours of the morning in order to eat breakfast. On Saturday, the pugs didn't even eat breakfast until after 9 AM which is unheard of around here. I know we are sad, but it is heartbreaking to see a mopey pug.
Even Cupid has been staying very close, joining us all on the sofa. Not just on the back where she usually lays, but actually snuggling in and claiming a lap for herself, as well.
In the last week, so many thoughts and emotions have swirled around my head. Of course I have some regrets, memories I wished I had captured not only in my mind, but also in photos so could be sure I would never forget. It is likely that I will share some of those things over the coming weeks. I'm not exactly sure what form the blog will take in the near future. We may not be as happy-go-lucky as we have been in the past. And while we have cried plenty of tears this week, rest assured we have also shared a lot of laughs. We have been retelling "remember when Solsey..." stories all week, which can't help but make you smile.
Monday, March 8, 2010
Goodbye Solsey Baby
It is with a very heavy heart that I must say that Sol has passed away. She had a simply fantastic day on Saturday, but late Saturday night into Sunday she took a turn for the worse. We spent all of Sunday with her hoping that she was just having an off day and that Monday would be better. However, her breathing got worse throughout the night on Sunday and we took her to the vet first thing Monday morning. It was there, knowing we have done and tried everything we possible could, that we made the tough decision to let her rest in peace.
We stayed with her the whole time and told her how much she was loved. I made sure to tell her how much everyone in OBP land loved her too. She went very peacefully and it was almost a relief to see her laying still without constantly coughing and struggling to breathe.
We are confident that we made the right decision, however, we miss her so much. She was such a big presence and a good spirit.
Posting will be a little light the next few days as I am going to take some time to process all this. I'm not really sure what to say or write next. I'm going to do what Solsey did and just take it one day at a time.
I know Sol was loved by more than just us and I want to say sorry to all of you as well. Please know that my thoughts are with you.
Take care everyone and kiss your puggers.
Friday, March 5, 2010
Surgery Anniversary
One year ago today, Sol had surgery to remove the gingival pappillary (verrucous) squamous cell carcinoma in her lower right jaw. The decision to have the surgery was one we agonized over. The main reason for our indecision was that we didn't know very much about Sol. We had only had her for a few months and the only thing we knew was that she was on the older side. Exactly how old, we weren't sure. Her previous medical history was a mystery. Our only real concern was would undergoing such a serious surgery be beneficial to Sol's quality of life. Would Sol be able to adjust to having up to half of her jaw removed?
In the end we went with our gut feeling and I am so happy we made the decision we did. The time it took for Sol to adjust to her new jaw was minimal and I never could have imagined that she would recover as quickly as she did.
Granted, there have been lots of other bumps this past year, but I can say that Sol's oral cancer has not been one of those things. She is a trooper and I am very happy to be able to celebrate this milestone with her.
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